For the longest time, I've wanted to make a better version of my old Nazi themed "SS Wehrmacht pak". So about a year and some change ago, I finally started putting this thing together. After about a month or two of chugging along on it, I got to the most labor-intensive part, the models, and I barely got started making new models before I remembered how much of a tedious pain in the ass it is to make models. So I didn't get very far at all into the models before I said FUCK IT and walked away from working on this pak further. Many of the models are either the same old "Wirehead Studios hi-res" models with slightly modded textures, or they're recycled shit from my previous pak with new modded textures... because I'm a lazy short-cuttin' motherfucker. This pak has been completed for about a year, but due to the fact that I'm a lazy stick of shit and a chronic procrasterbator, I'm only just NOW getting around to getting this garbage posted for your own personal un-enjoyment and disapproval.

You're welcome. And suck my balls.

So without further ado, here's all the shit you can expect to find in this piece of shit pak file. I did personally make this pak file, and I personally use R1Q2 to play Quake2 with this pak that I made for me. So if you use another client, ANY other client, guess what? I didn't take the fucking time to test this shit out on any other client your dumb ass may use. If it doesn't work properly for you like it does for me, know that I probably don't give a damn.

Enjoy my terrible HTML skills that look like 1996 took a piss on Geocities while Angelfire jerked off in the corner.

This is the conback. It's fuckin' nice. Enjoy that shit, bitch. You know you love it. These days I'm using a 1280x1024 desktop resolution, and I think my in-game resolution is the same, therefore the dimensions of this conback is probably what??? That's right, you fuckin' retard, 1280x1024.

This is the main menu. It's very Nazi-ish. Because in case you missed it, this pak is Nazi themed, you dickhead. Wouldja look at that! The cursor is fuckin' animamatered! It's an SS totenkopf skull with blinking glowing red eye holes and a shitty poorly edited explosion behind it. It looks like shit. Why? Because I like things that look like shit, fuck you.

And once you clickity-click on one of those main menu options, this is what the fuck the sub-menu banners will all look like.

And this is the fucking inventory menu. It shows the inventory. Or it shows the join game options. "So maybe it's the join game menu.", you say. FUCK YOU, NO IT'S NOT! IT'S THE FUCKING INVENTORY MENU NOW AND FOREVER, YOU PUSSY FACED FUCK-BUTTER EATER!

And here's my same old same old crosshair I always use. You've seen it before. But see it again. I get a boner when I show it to you. Okay, now you show me yours. C'mon, I showed you mine. Don't be a pussy, just whip it out, no one's looking. Is this getting gay? Well so was Adolf Hitler.

These are the conchars. Enjoy them. They took a few days all by themselves to complete. I made about 5 different versions before I settled on these... so that's why it took a while. The idea of having calligraphy font text characters sounds like a swell idea. But 90% of the time, it ends up being very hard to read in Quake2. These... are kinda hard to fucking read. Sometimes I think: Why do I fucking bother with this shit? Honestly, if I gave a shit, I'd probably make a plainer and easier to read set of conchars for this pak. But alas, LOOK AT ALL THE FUCKS I DON'T GIVE WHEN I DECIDE TO NOT DO THAT STUPID BULLSHIT AND LEAVE IT AS IT IS!

These are the health/ammo numbers. What more can I say? I can say "Slam your dick in the silverware drawer.", but it'll have fuck-all to do with this next image.

Here's the health icon. It's the icon for health. Blah blah.

Here's the armor icons. Nazi helmets. Looks like the tip of my dick.

And here's the ammo icons. They look like shit you use to kill the fuck outta people with. I need therapy? Yeah, probably.

And these are the weapon icons. These are the OTHER things you use to kill the shit outta people with. They look like Nazi german weapons, huh? A Luger for the blaster, an MP40 for the machinegun, an MG42 for the chaingun, a mortar tube for the grenade launcher, a flammenwerfer (german flamethrower) for the hyperblaster. And for the mighty BFG... it's now a Zyklon B Holocaust cannon. In very poor taste indeed, just the fucking way I like it. I was planning on making some kickass weapons models that looked just like each of these icons, but... I didn't.

These are the powerup icons. They... do shit, whatever, fuck you. Upon further examination... just now as I'm posting this and typing it out... I notice that I forgot to make some of the icons match the textures for the models they represent. (bandolier, envirosuit, and rebreather icons don't look like the new textures for those models) I care just enough to notice and bitch about it, but not enough to actually "DO" anything about it.

And here's the fucking key icons. The same shit from my last several paks recycled again.

Here's the scoreboard tags. They're fucking Nazi. But most things are these days, right?

And lastly, here's the F1 Help menu. You'll only see this if you play single player or coop like the fucking pussy faggot that you are, you pussy faggot. DIE IN A FIRE.



Now let's take a good look at all the ugly fucking models you'll have to look at if you're unfortunate enough to download and use this horrible fucking pak file from Satan's hairy asshole. Firstly, we'll cover the weapons.

WEAPONS

This is the shotgun model. I didn't make it. I stole it from some damned where, I don't remember exactly. I think I probably modified it slightly to shorten it to make it fit in the game better.

And here's the Super Shitgun. Cuz if you can't hit shit with it, you're super shit at this game.

Here's the same fucking hi-res machinegun model from my last pak. I started drawing up a new MP40 model in MilkShape3D, but when I realized how much of a pain in the ass it was going to be to skin it, I decided I'd rather pour fire ants into my dickhole with a funnel than do THAT bullshit. So no new weapons got made for this pak. Blow me.

Here's the chaingun. Same shit, different pak.

And the grenade launcher model. Again, same shit, different pak.

I was gonna design a kickass looking Panzershrek tube for the RL, but as I said before, IT TOO HARD, I TOO LAZY. So instead, I just recycled the camo hi-res RL from my USMC/Vietnam pak.

The hyperblaster. Hyperblaster, the. Eat shit. Shit, you may eat. You may eat that which is shit. Shit eater, you are.

This is the railgun. Shove it up your ass for all I care.

And this is the BFG. Blue Fucking Gun. Cuz it's fucking blue. Just like your mother blew me in the QuikTrip parking lot.


AMMO PACKS & PROJECTILES


Moving on, now we enter the ammunition portion of this awful shit show. These are actually BRAND NEW models. No recycled bullshit here.

I went to downright "retarded" lengths to make the textures for some of these ammo boxes, particularly the bullets. They don't look like much, but it's actually an extensive reworking of an old period correct bullet box. Took a lot of manual carpal-tunnel tediousness to clean up and edit the original image I made this skin from. So appreciate it, bitch.

This is a modified version of the gas can I used from another pak. I just chopped off the spout tube and reskinned it. Anyway, this is pretty much exactly what an SS jerry can looked like, at least according to the few images I found on Google that I used as reference.

These are the grenade pickup models. They look like your typical Nazi "potato masher" grenades. The hand grenade projectile models are basically the exact same model.

The grenade launcher projectiles, I made to look like mortar shells. Originally, I was going to make a mortar tube for the GL pickup model, but as I said before... DIDn'T WANNA, FUCK YOU VERY MUCH PLEASE!

The rockets look like a rack of panzershrek rockets. There were 2 man rocket teams, one would carry and shoot the tube while the other would carry the rockets in a rack like this on their back and load the rockets. They probably refered to him as "Das Bitch". They probably refer to YOU as that, too.

I also made projectile models for this ammo. Too bad I didn't make a Panzershrek tube to go with it.

I have no fucking idea what a box of Nazi german shotgun shells would look like. I couldn't find one image of any anywhere on the entire fucking internet. So I just took "artistic liberties" on this one. This "might" be what a nazi shell box looked like.

This is another one that looks like it was very simple to paint, but it actually took hours and hours of editing to recreate a clean looking label that looks a box of large caliber rifle bullets commonly found in WW2-era Germany.


HEALTH

I recycled the Jack Daniels bottle stimpack from an earlier pak and just painted up a new Rumple Minze skin for it. SHORT CUT. Kinda like the doctor did on your circumcision, you dickless shit-whiffer.

And again, I recycled the Miller Lite 6pk model I made before and just painted up some Warsteiner cans instead.

More german brewed goodness. A 12 pack of Paulaner Hefeweissen, Focalor's favorite beer.

Adrenaline model is new. It was dick-simple to make, thus why it got made at all.

Again, the same ole same ole Jagermeister bottle I've been using for the past couple of paks.


ARMOR

Just modified my remapped-reskinned jacket armor to have some swastickers and shit on it.

Used the old "Wirehead" models again for the combat and body armor, added some Nazi shit for good measure.

Armor shards are SS dickhead-hats, aka stahlhelm helmets. I didn't make these models, I just modded the skins to add the SS insignias. Credit probably goes to Wirehead Studios again.


POWERUPS, ETC.

I recycled my backpack model, just modified the texture to make it look Nazi-ish. And shitty. It looks shitty. Really shitty. Do I care? Nope. Not even a little.

I added a swastika to the power shield. Now it's better. It's more Nazi. And I think we can all agree, everything needs more Nazi.

The bandolier is now at least 20% more Nazi-er too. You're welcome, Jews.

The envirosuit has been ShutzStaffell'd for the discerning Nazi pimp with shit to do in the places no one should go. Whatever, fuck you.

The invulnerability just got Totally Totenkopf'd! Kill jews with absolute impugnity with this lovely piece of whatever the fuck it is.

A swastika quad damage!?! Are you serious!?! WOW! I DID NAZI THAT COMING! (nazi that coming... you saw that joke coming at some point. It was inevitable.) Kill 4 TIMES THE JEWS IN 25% of THE TIME IT USED TO! QUAD DAMAGE - new from SC Jewson Whacks!

Tired of breathing the same air as those nasty untermench judenseses? Now you'll breathe like a motherfucking aryan rock star with this cheap piece of shit that was probably made in CHina somehow.

And here's a silencer. It silences shit. It also fucks your sister. No... wait... that's me. I fuck your sister.



Sounds? Yeah, there are sounds in this pak. Basically all the same shit I have in EVERY fucking pak I ever post. I did re-add the Hitler "Heil" sounds for the quad damage and megahealth like what were in my original SS Wehrmacht pak from years ago.

That's pretty much everything. I hope you enjoyed me calling you a faggot as much I enjoyed calling you a faggot, you faggot.

Go fuck yourself. But download this shitty pak first and shove it up your ass.